The relationship problems are probably one of the most difficult problems! How many times have you found yourself facing the wall feeling like all was lost? How many times have you said to yourself “it’s too late, I’ll never find a solution!”?
Why do we sometimes seem helpless in the face of a relationship problem? How to overcome this feeling and find a solution to resolve it?
In this article, I tackle the topic of social relations. I explain how to react to a relationship problem and how to adopt the right behavior to maximize the chances of solving it.
A 3-step method that I use whenever a problem of this type arises …
Step 1: Have the right mindset
The first thing to do when you find yourself stuck with a relationship problem is to objectively check what state of mind you are in. And I insist on the word objectively! As the next step is to rephrase the problem, you absolutely need to be in a positive frame of mind to be able to move forward. Whatever you do, if you are in a negative state of mind, you will not move forward. Worse, you will sink into a vicious circle from which it will be increasingly difficult to escape. Keep in mind that every problem has a solution, but most of the time only you can find the one that works best for you.
To be in the right frame of mind, be convinced of the following two things:
- For each problem there are several solutions;
- If you think a problem is unsolved, then you should reconsider it.
Moreover, as Albert Einstein said: “A problem without a solution is a problem badly posed. “
And all thanks to this positive state of mind that you will be able to put into practice the advice in the following paragraphs …
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Step 2: Reconsider the Problem
You are going to have to think calmly about this problem. For this, you must start by thinking about it on your own to fully understand how you got there. Then, and only then, can you seek advice from someone you trust. Seeking advice from someone you trust is essential because that person will have an objective view of the situation. Try to choose someone who does not know the other person in relation to the problem.
The ideal would be to ask a complete stranger!
You already have your own opinion on the problem, and you need the objective opinion of someone who has no knowledge of the problem. When explaining the situation, be sure to be as objective as possible. This is when the thinking work you did just before will be needed. It will have allowed you to calm down and take a step back from the problem to try to consider it objectively. Listen carefully to what people tell you, and use your critical thinking skills to fully understand the situation.
Step 3: Make contact with the other person
Thanks to the first two steps, you have taken a step back from the situation. You have more precisely identified the share of responsibility of each. In most cases, neither person is all white or all black. So you surely have each reason to blame yourself.
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You will have to contact the person again! And this is often the most difficult step! How many people have been angry without speaking for years? If you don’t make the choice to recontact someone you care about and they don’t either, no one will do it for you! You will have to take your courage in both hands and reestablish contact with this person to present your thoughts. You will help him to reconsider the problem as you did and you will present to him the various conclusions that you had.
Above all, don’t go angry or absolutely trying to get the other person to apologize. The first two steps have normally allowed you to engage in reconciliation with the right frame of mind and having taken the time to reflect on the situation. Do not waste all the work you have done because of the emotions that might resurface during this meeting!
What if the other person doesn’t want to hear anything?
Even if the advice I give you in this article has proven its worth over and over again, you should know that we do not live in a world where everything happens all the time as we would have liked.
If despite your best efforts, the person does not want to hear anything, then you will have to learn to live with this problem which in the end may not be one anymore! You did everything to solve it, you don’t need to have any regrets!
It’s your turn!
Today, the passage to action is obvious! Are you in the cold with someone? Follow these three steps and try to reconcile with this person! Break down this wall that has been built between you and which only brings negative effects in your two lives!